Last week
My feelings are more deeper this week and I dunno why
if I feel alone then I feel extremely alone
and I realise I could be with a group of people and yet still so alone
If I feel happy then extremely happy..shed some tears after watching spiderman… but during the screening feels different pula… like someone is trying to answer all my worries.
anyway.. there is good news and bad news
Good news is that I manage to have an interviews with productions house where previously their doors close tight..hopefully their doors will be open by the end of this year but then economy crisis will most probably deepen to an even worst state this year compare to last year and it is expected to slowly regain back its momentum by end of 2011.. well that’s what economist says but some businessman think it can even take longer than that. Till today I still dun understand how FED and American’s bank operate, leaving a huge hole for ppl worldwide to suffered. Normally recession comes every decades once, that is for sure but normally it regained back in momentum in a year half or two years but this crises could prolong the normal duration. It’s bad cos many company dun wan to hire ppl. Some ppl really suffer…. while I was unemployed I think of how ppl have to lit fire in the street, living on foodstamps, no blanket, no car, no sanitation..no nothing… oh no water too… and that’s a first world country. Gosh…I simply can’t believe this can happened.
during this time there are friends who seems to care for me, so called friends who seems to help but ended up with empty promises, like there is this one person who said wanna borrow camera but never heard a single sound from him after 3 tries and after knowing I was unemployed for that time period.
there was another so called friend who wanna hear all my problem but then I dunno what happen he really change. I was so close to share my deepest secret with him but obviously he failed me. perhaps human as friends always failed each other huh.
then there is this particular producer somewhere near Plaza Mont Kiara who do documentary and said want to bring his company to international level but write his own e-mail wrongly to me. I re-check from his website and send my work but never heard from him after 3 tries…This Production house….give me a very bad and extremely bad impression….very dissapointed with this so called producer…God U Please vindicate for me…
then there is another friends who is almost in this line but the reaction I get was really a cold reaction with “Please don’t look for me type” not now, not ever, dun care where you are, dun care what you do, no need to be accountable to me but let me spend one minutes of BS with u becos I just wan to show you I care by embarassing you and telling the whole world that you once work in atl as writer and then now Jobless and can still make a joke out of it…. God u Punish this person.
then there is this one guy really piss off man till today… we were just having simple dicussion and there goes he blow up…he has pride…. his style is that he is always rite… I kind of gauge his character after the first bad experience but to confirm just try another time wah he really cannot be friends man…. everything about him is right and everything about me is wrong even the rational and logic points that I am in the right lane of thoughts.
finally only 3 ppl come back to help me, I am glad they did, of 3 1 help with employment, 2 help keep me company, 3 help me with my finances temporary. Amazing.
I was watching Spiderman 3 in our weekly friday cell discussion. I think the greatest thing is Love becos if there is no love there is no forgiveness, everyone would be selfish and thinks that they are helping you by so called letting you stand on your own feet(There is no such thing, everyone is interdependent, even businesses need partners and sometimes makes ur competitor ur friends). But perhaps ppl dunno how to effectively love that person actually is not hard, love someone is not about what you want for them, but is what they need at the moment and try to reach them through their needs, it can be as simple as holding hands, sitting next to the person, talking to the person, stand next to the person, try carpooling witht that person(these are the basic) which is a good way of evagelism.
If you really want to show love and care that’s when you reach their deepest needs. for me at the moment is a Job, a good stable job with good income Love all
Miss all
